The Importance of Actions Over Words

How to demonstrate your value to your team

It happened again! You were left out of a key meeting or email accidentally.  This is especially concerning as you can’t work more hours than you already put in.  You want to be treated as a key member of the team instead of an afterthought.  What can you do to break this cycle?

There are many explanations for this situation.  Don't let your personal doubts slip into your mind.  There is no one at fault in this situation.  There is no reason to feel like a victim or to feel anger.  The best approach is to try something new and change the dynamics of the situation.

Here are some ways to change the situation:

1. Align your goals in relation to the rest of the team

2. Establish your value clearly

3. Build relationships with the hardest workers

Taking these steps puts you in control of your deliveries and your time.  Let's see how to take these steps.

Step 1: Align Your Goals in Relation to the Rest of the Team

One reason you are overlooked by the rest of the team is that the team doesn't know what you can do.  Suppose you’re a product manager on a new initiative with a cross-functional team that is defining a cloud-based app. Your expertise is in marketing and you know the potential customers well.  There have been several customer discovery meetings and you are irritated that you weren't invited to these meetings.

How can you tell if this oversight is related to goal alignment?  By asking questions you can figure out:

• If the team knows what you can do

• The goals of the rest of the team

In this example, how could the customer discovery meetings be improved by you?  If you wanted to hear the customer dialog directly, then why?  If you wanted to hear the dialog to be part of the team, there is no reason to invite you.  If you have unanswered questions from the customer discovery, then the team doesn't know your goals in relation to the cloud-based app.

You have these options to be sure you are part of the next customer discovery meeting:

• Provide your customer discovery questions and how you will use the answers to the team - you need to have clear value-add usage of the answers!

• Offer to schedule and organize the next customer discovery meeting

If your team doesn't know your goals in relation to the new initiative, then they won't include you.

Step 2: Establish Your Value Clearly

Another reason your team could bypass you accidentally is they don't understand the value you bring to the project.  And it doesn't matter what you say - it matters what you do.  Let's say you are a new product manager on a team that delivers a SaaS product.  You are an expert at software licensing and you are upset that you were left out of the last product requirements strategy session.  The strategy session was on prioritizing the features in the next release. 

As the software licensing product manager, feature prioritization matters to you.  However, your team believes you aren't needed until it is time to review detailed requirements with engineering.  You have told your team many times that you need to be involved in all product strategy meetings.  What can you do besides telling them again to keep you involved?

When you face this kind of disconnect, the best response is to take action.  In this example, the actions to take are:

• Define the product licensing strategy and gather feedback from your team

• Write licensing requirements that fit in with the rest of the product requirements

• Contribute to the product business case and product strategy with slides and point-of-views

It is important to generate something tangible such as a few slides, requirements, or other meaningful outcomes. 

You know you have succeeded in establishing your value when your role and contributions are clear to the whole team.

Step 3: Build Relationships with the Hard Workers

There are people on every team that simply work hard and see no value in building relationships.  The hard workers on your team set up meetings only with people directly involved in their initiative.  They are goal-oriented and don't want to trouble others on the team.  You can spot the hard workers by observation:

• They are always a few minutes late to staff meetings and other large meetings

• Often reschedule 1 on 1 meetings due to higher priorities

• Often leave related staff off of emails and meetings

You need to bring your value proposition to the hard workers and link it to their goals to build a relationship with them.  With patience and persistence, the hard workers see your value and include you when your value is clear.  Also, remember that hard workers don't put priority on relationships, they put priority on getting things done.

Conclusion

Getting your team to seek out your help instead of bypassing you is a delicate problem to handle.  By taking time to think about your contribution you can be included in important work without overworking.  Here are the steps to take when you notice you are getting omitted from team activities:

• Ensure your goals are aligned with your team

• Show your value to the team with actions

• Cultivate relationships with the most dedicated team members

Before long, you are not left out of key meetings and the team recognizes your valuable contribution.

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Interesting Links

• Using a decision stack in product management How to reverse engineer your product and product organization. @Petra Wille coaches many product leaders and discusses how to understand your product organization.

• Time blocking is a handy tool Explainer of the different ways to do time blocking, how to avoid time blocking mistakes and other tips. Get more productive with time blocking!