Navigating Assertiveness Safely
How to put your fears of retaliation to rest
What is frequent feedback to product people?
You need to be more assertive.
You also know the importance of relationship building. But this leads to a dilemma:
Assert yourself and hurt a relationship
OR
Fear retaliation and give in to an unreasonable request
How do you balance assertiveness and relationship building?
Some Notes on Fear
Fear can push you to do the wrong thing on the job. There is nothing to fear about delivering results for your organization. Suppose you assert yourself to keep on track with a customer commitment. If you got a good result for your organization, then someone who decides to retaliate is wrong.
Preparing to be Assertive
Sticking to the facts is a non-confrontational approach to being assertive. If a customer is affected by an issue, then it is a fact that the issue needs to be fixed. This strengthens your argument in a non-personal way.
Build relationships with stakeholders and peers. Having allies who share your perspective can head off confrontations.
Being Assertive and Calm
Use the facts and relationships to keep yourself calm when you need to stand your ground.
Teaming up with your internal critics provides chances to grow your assertiveness muscles.
Document decisions and discussions factually. This prevents misunderstandings and provides a record for later reference.
Learn from Experiences
Reflect on your handling of situations that needed assertiveness. How can you handle a similar situation differently?
Observe senior leaders in your organization and how they handle disagreements. How do they gracefully assert themselves when they need resources? Do they have techniques that you can apply?
The goal of learning is to build your confidence in preparing for and handling cases that need assertiveness.
Conclusion - Safely Being Assertive
Being assertive is about confidently stating your position and needs while respecting others. When you approach situations factually and calmly with a focus on collaboration, your fears of retaliation lessen.
Other Places to Find Amy:
Elpha AMA: This week’s article came from Ask-Me-Anything in Elpha Office Hours.
10-minute podcast: I had a great time discussing product management with Alex Smith. Alex is a co-founder of Fuego UX and he hosts the Where Product Meets Design Podcast. Fuego UX is a leading UX research, strategy, and design consultancy.
This is a topic that is not considered very often. Thanks for bringing it up, Amy!
Do you have any suggestions for junior employees with little experience? In my experience, it is much easier to be assertive when you have some experience.